Showing up uninvited
by Onassis
Summary: My version of a classic: "James & Lily return!". It is Harry's 5th year at Hogwarts, and while he and the rest of the gang are enjoying Umbridge's teaching methods, the adults are having "fun" bickering in Grimmauld Place. Until the doorbell rings! Harry & friends are hormonal teenagers, Molly suffers from hysteria, Black never wants to grow up. The others are a tad bit crazy


It was a foggy, gloomy night in London.

Grimmauld Place sat in its hidden location as grimly as usual.

Not that the mood inside was much different, thank you very much.

Mrs Black could be heard screeching from time to time, but nobody paid attention to that old vulture anymore.

Kreacher went great lengths to embitter the atmosphere inside the house and constant bickering went on among its human dwellers.

"I swear to you Black, you're going to pay for it!" an enraged, broom-brandishing Molly Weasley screamed up the staircase.

All she got for an answer was a bark.

Mrs Weasley took a couple of deep breaths, willing herself to calm down, before heading to the kitchen to knock something up.

She would've gladly traded the dusty, large residence for her more modest but homey Burrow. Moreover, she really couldn't wrap her head around the fact that she seemed to be doomed to be surrounded by troublemakers at all times. As if her kids weren't enough, now she also had a larger, darker, smellier man to deal with. In her opinion, Black was nasty, defiant and bad tempered and he didn't miss a chance to annoy her.

Placing a pan on the fire, Molly seized a packet of sausages and some old wrinkled onions which had just begun to smell: they would have to do, and the formidable Order of the Phoenix members would have to call it a dinner.

As soon as the smell of sizzling sausages began to spread in the air, Black unsurprisingly appeared.

"Ah, food" he motioned to grab a sausage off the frying pan, but was promptly trod on the back of the hand by Molly.

Black howled.

"Get lost, you good-for-nothing!" Molly shrieked in a fit of middle-aged fury.

She watched as he scrambled out of the door, not feeling sorry in the least.

"Of all the places in the world...why here... friggin' Dumb-o-dore!" she threw her cooking spatula at the door. A thud resonated in the whole house.

Minutes passed. Molly set the table up. She wiped the kitchen counter, throwing the cloth in a basket as soon as she was finished.

Except for the unruly Animagus, nobody else in the house was ready for dinner. Tonks, Moody, Emmeline Vance, Lupin and Mundungus had shut themselves in a room to discuss plans of action for several hours now.

Arthur was still at the Ministry working his arse off. Not that his presence would change much.

Molly eyed the sausages with desire. She was supposed to be on a diet, but food was her only consolation these days...what with all the stress and frustrations occurring in Grimmauld Place.

Arthur was of little help, their marriage having lost most of the spice for a long time now. She had no outlets. She somewhat felt entitled to a _sausage_...and it wasn't like anyone would notice if she stole one, was it?

Giving in to her gluttony, Molly struck a juicy banger down with her fork.

She had just sunk her theeth in the delicious meat, when someone rang the bell.

Who could it be at that time? They weren't expecting any visitor.

 _Black_.

Grunting, Molly got up, ready to scold that wastrel. She was sure he was pulling another joke on her. Not this time, dude.

With an angry expression on her face, she burst the door open, after having ran a simple security spell.

"Black! I swear to you, this is the last...AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Molly fell to the ground, unconscious.

The two figures standing on the other side of the door watched her, then exchanged a look.

"Seems good for a start" the man said.

"Oh, spare me!" the woman rolled her eyes, unamused.

"I was only trying to lighten this up a little bit, my dearest..."

At that, the woman laughed heartily.

"You should tell them this in person, then. After you, dear husband"

"You're most generous"

"You're most valiant"

"You flatterer..."

They both stepped inside, picking up the slumped form of Molly in the meantime.

"At least we were able to _mollify_ Molly" the man winked. The woman turned with a reprimanding look, but couldn't help smirking back at him.

She shut the door behind her, knowing it would probably be a long time before the both of them would step in the outside world.

"Welcome back to Saint Tropez...didn't you miss home?"


End file.
